Quote Of The Week – 40 – 2016
Why Keeping Your Goals Secret Is The Best Way To Be Successful
“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality” – Les Brown
In this post you will find out:
- Why Listening to others has brought you where you are right now
- Who You Could Become
- The Way Out
Sometimes I feel that everyone knows exactly what I have to do or what I should not do. There are so many expectations that I have to meet, especially my own ones. And then I ask myself what would actually happen if I would just let go and give in to who I am.
Whatever it is that I am good at and that I came here to be, I allow myself to let go of any limitations and boundaries. Those are just concepts of my mind that I have created. I choose to let go. I decide that they are no longer serving me, so they lose their power over me. I can start to become my greatest version and be truly authentic at the same time.
Why Listening To Others Has Brought You Where You Are Right Now
Did you ever think about the decisions that you made in the past based on what someone has told you? Or maybe you made a decision based on the opinion they had or might have of you. At the end you might not even know their opinion but based your decision on an expected opinion.
This abstract concept of another opinion about you is influencing your decisions in all kinds of situations in your life on a subconscious level. Unless you take the necessary steps that lead you out of this behavior, you will continue to make poor decisions that cause poor results.
Where do we get by doing so?
This happens when other people’s opinions influence your decisions
When I think back I can think of many decisions that I made in my based on what other people might think of me. One example is me wanting to tell my parents that I don’t want to eat meat anymore. But every time I am going back home, I find myself eating all kinds of things. On one side it is a sentimental reasoning that tries to bring back “good old times”, but on the other side it is me being afraid of what trouble this could cause and what they might think of me.
But to be honest here, what is the worst thing that could happen? Are they going to stop talking to me? Will they stop inviting me? Will they laugh at me or making fun of my habits?
On the other hand, the best thing that could happen is that they are absolutely fine with it and nothing is going to change.
At this point I have to make a decision:
Do I want to continue to live up to other people’s expectations, or am I going to make that step and do it my way?
Honestly, I don’t feel good about it. I try to delay that decision and it keeps me in stagnation and a state of procrastination. I cannot continue on my path until I make that announcement and I already keep thinking about Christmas. But unless I overcome my fear and stand up for myself, I am making the conscious decision to fail over and over again.
The underlying fear is, like in almost all situations, that we are not being loved. Everyone wants to be loved and that is the underlying motivation for anything we do in life.
So my seemingly unimportant problem is a reflection of a lack in self-confidence and self-love that I have towards myself.
The good news is that I am aware of it and know that I have to face it. But how many times are we unaware of our poor decisions that are based on fear and false assumptions?
This is what happens if we base our decisions on other people’s decisions:
- We try to please everyone but feel miserable because we can never achieve this
- We cannot become our greatest version because we are not authentic in what we do. We are not who we came here to be
- What we are doing is not what WE want but others. Instead of listening to our inner voice, we falsely misinterpret other people’s wishes as our own.
- We give away our power over our own actions. This is equal to giving away responsibility for our own lives.
- Whatever we do lacks in quality, because we have an underlying resistance to it. Thus, it is not possible to better than mediocre at what we do.
- Due to the he lack of conviction and good intention, you have to force yourself to do things. This creates resistance and blocks within you that, according to the cosmic law of correspondence, have to create reflections of the same blocks and resistance in the world around you. The result is that you create your own future roadblocks. You feel that you are not advancing in life because you are not in alignment with who you truly are.
Changes happen too fast for us trying to please everyone, which is simply impossible. This keeps us unhappy and feeling unworthy. We think we lack in talent and success. Our negative self-talk keeps us trapped in our life situations and we call it faith.
But here is the truth:
We are actually allowing other people’s opinion about us becoming our reality. But most of the time it is only our own imagination of their probable opinion about us that keeps us where we are.
It is our secret fear that we are not good enough. This fear is based on a lack of self-love…
Pleasing everyone but yourself
You might have been overlooking what I am going to tell you now…
Situations keep changing all the time:
- People, colleagues, friends come and go
- Situations, moments, and opportunities come and go
- Opinions, beliefs, habits come and go
- Other people’s thoughts about you come and go
- Your thoughts about other people thinking about you come and go (sounds weird, but this is the crazy way our mind works, isn’t it? 🙂 )
- Any thoughts about anything come and go
At the end of the day…
…the only one that stays with you all the time is YOU!
The worst thing that can happen is that someone is not going to like you.
But at least you are going to like yourself!
Freedom is when you have nothing left to lose. Let go of society’s expectations and stop trying to please everyone but yourself.
Ask yourself this one question, every day:
What is the one thing that keeps me excited like nothing else, and how much time am I going to spend on doing it? And then go for it!
What is your opinion of yourself?
But no matter what other people think of us, our biggest enemy is within us!
It is too easy to say that others caused the situation that we are in right now. First and foremost it is us and only us that led us where we are. It is our thinking that determines who we are and who we become.
If you are not able to believe in yourself, who is going to do that for you?
If you cannot imagine the possibility of being successful, who is going to do that for you?
If you cannot believe that you have what it takes to reach your goal, no one will do for you.
Who You Could Become
Imagine where you would be right now if you would have listened to your inner voice?
Think of all the opportunities in your life that you have missed because someone advised you against them?
They say that they only want the best for you.
They don’t want you to get disappointed.
You should study something that is serious stuff, get a job that brings security in your life, and not try anything unreasonable.
Ever heard that before in your life? Well, I did.
And I got tired of it.
GET THIS TOXIC THINKING OUT OF YOUR MIND
Whatever intention people have telling you not to pursue your dreams, be it a good or bad intention, don’t ever listen, if you think that you can do it!
They say it is impossible?
Prove them wrong!
They say you have to be reasonable?
Throughout history those that have been unreasonable changed history and set new boundaries and made the biggest discoveries and inventions!
They say that you are just a dreamer?
Commit yourself to your vision, get into radical action, and pursue your dream. Do this continuously and opportunities and success WILL COME.
It is better to be prepared and not having an opportunity, than having an opportunity and not being prepared.
Learn what you have to learn and get prepared to follow your dreams.
You don’t know where?
You don’t have the time?
Get this easy to follow guide for proper time management
You don’t think that you can do it?
Change your limiting beliefs and develop positive self-talk.
Thinking about setting up a website but don’t know how?
Check out where I learned how to create my own websites and start your own online business
There are countless opportunities. All you need is to have a vision for yourself and get started.
The Way Out
What is the best thing you can do about it?
- Go within and find the answers there. You have your own map and compass there. Only you can know what you want.
- Stop listening to others, because their path does not have to become yours. Everyone has an individual way to go.
- For this reason it can be difficult to listen to somebody else and walk their path. Their vision may not be in alignment with your own.
- Only your own inner voice can be allowed to guide you.
- Feel if it is the right way for you, before you start down a certain path that somebody has told you to follow.
- Maybe it was right, maybe it was wrong. Only you have the answer and nobody beside yourself can give you the answer.
- Learn what success is about and how to never give up on your dreams
- Make it a daily routine to work on your dream
Why Keeping Your Goals Secret Is the Best Way To Be Successful
When the hard times come, it is important to remember why you started in the first place. At these critical moments, it can become crucial not to have anyone telling you what they think you should do or not.
Although you don’t need to hold back or have any secrets, you should get a feeling for when you talk about your plans and who you are talking to. People simply don’t know what you are going through or have the same insights that you have. Therefore, they might become skeptical about your ideas. If you are unable to stand your point at that time, you can easily see the reason behind their skepticism.
But in order to succeed you have to be UNREASONABLE at some point. This is not about disregarding any advice at all but you should beware of doubtful thinking and lack of faith in your abilities. This is crucial especially when you are just starting out.
Naysayers, critics, and realists often “know exactly” what you get yourself into. They probably know someone who failed most some time ago. And they most likely will not support any of your ideas.
BE CAREFUL WHO YOU ASK FOR ADVICE!
Whatever you want to achieve, learn only from those that are successful in what you want to achieve as well.
You want to write a book? Check out the top ten bestselling authors, and find someone who can teach you how to get started.
Don’t ask your friends, family, or colleagues if they haven’t achieved what you want to achieve.
Ask those that are experts in the field that you want to become an expert too!
Start your holistic life transformation. Change your life today and become your greatest version!
Who Said It
Les Brown (1945*) is an American motivational speaker, author, radio DJ, former television host, and former politician. He is a highly-sought-after resource in business and professional circles for big and small business and leaders from all sectors of society. For three decades he has not only studied the science of achievement, he’s mastered it by interviewing hundreds of successful business leaders and collaborating with them in the boardroom translating theory into bottom-line results for his clients.
If you want to watch some of his motivational speeches, then simply head over to the video section of this website and get motivated.
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