Why Living A Good Life Makes You Still Unhappy

Quote Of The Week – 43 – 2016

Why Living A Good Life Makes You Still Unhappy

In this post I walk you through the reasons why we have given up on our dreams, why we have the wrong ideas about what it means to be happy and successful, and what you can do to overcome this wrong beliefs. Finally, I am going to show you how you can turn almost any passion into an income.

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it.” – Michelangelo

What It Means For Me

When you look at the quote above, did you ever wonder where you could be in your life if you simply changed your goals and objectives a little bit?

I think deep down everyone wants more or less the same:

  • They want to be happy
  • Do what they are passionate about,
  • and having a life full of abundance and joy.

I think that these are the basic desires of each individual.

Do you agree with that?

The expressions of each of those desires might be unique for each individual but the core desires are the same.

What you have to understand is this:

You have unique gifts and experiences that only you know about. Your skills and interests can enable you to do the most remarkable things with ease where others fail or don’t even try. And even more important is that you can do so with pure joy and pleasure. This is when you tap into your highest potential an do what you truly love.

Why Having A Good Life Makes You Still Unhappy

But here comes the problem that the majority of the people have:

Do you know your potential and what you are truly passionate about?

If you do, this is great! But many people don’t know anything about their true potential, and therefore, they have no real goals in life. Even if you know you passion, you may think that it is not possible to do it all the time.

Wouldn’t it be great to do everyday what you are most passionate about? More so, wouldn’t it be awesome to make it your major source of income, no matter what it is?

Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? But believe me, there are ways to do what you love and live from it when you add one essential aspect to it that makes all the difference, which I will take about in a moment.

First of all, I want to focus on why we think that we cannot do what we really want to do in life.

We are programmed by society to be normal and to “fit in”

From the moment we are born, we are programmed by the society and the environment around us. This includes our family, friends and colleagues, teachers, class mates, the town and country we live in, and whatever the media is trying to tell us. Everybody is being told what they need in order to be “happy and successful”, how to behave and what is normal, realistic, and appropriate or not.

Did you ever wonder if it has to be this way? Does it HAVE to be like this?

There is a study that you might have heard of before conducted by George Land and Beth Jarman. They tested the ability of creative thinking of 5, 10 and 15 year olds. The results are described in the book Breakpoint and Beyond: Mastering the Future Today:

An impressive 98% of 5-year-olds scored at the “genius” level in such a test of divergent thinking. Test-takers age 10 however, saw their number drop to 32%, and only 10% of high-school-age test-takers scored at the “genius” level. It seems that as students mature through the educational system, they have some of these creative instincts “driven out” or socialized out of them. Why should this be?

Other sources say that by the time that children are adults, only 2% show signs of a genius. In this regard the original meaning of education which comes from the Latin word ēducātiō means taking out or bringing up. In other words the original meaning relates to finding someone’s talents and unique skills and bring them to surface.

Unfortunately, the education systems around the world do exactly the opposite.

I can highly recommend you to watch the TED talk below, which is one of the most watched TED talks of all times. You can also watch the video on TED.com

With this being said, everyone has something inside that he or she is truly passionate about. You only need to find out what it is and then LIVE IT.

But again, you might say that not everybody can be an artist and that your passion will not pay you a single dime. I promise you to show you a way in this post. Just stick with me for now.

What (we think) we need to be happy

Everybody wants to do what he thinks is right in order to get his version of happiness.

This could include driving a good car and having a nice house with a garden, having a university degree, or having a certain amount of money. I think the benchmark is about $1 million or at least close to that, in other areas of the world you might need 1000 sheep or cows in order to “be someone” and being a respected person in your community.

It may involve being married by the age of 25, having plenty of kids, and be a good housewife to make your family and parents proud of you. Anything beyond that is nonsense, not appropriate for a woman or whatever. The man needs all kinds of status symbols to show to his friends and family that he is strong, and someone who achieved “something”.

What is your motivation?

Your internal motivation might be to compare yourself to others and talk about your achievements to others. You may imagine what you are going to tell them once you reached your goals.

We all have the desire to be “better” than others, to not make the same mistakes like our parents, or to do things that we think we need to do in order to get their approval and respect. When we see someone “better” than us we try to find flaws and something that tells us that they are not that good after all.

We actually crave to find something because we have a feeling of unfairness here, because we don’t have the same and thing we need to have all of that to be happy as well. On the other hand, when we see someone who is below us we feel superior and better. But this makes us lazy to pursue our own dreams.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. The only one you can compare yourself to is you. Use your so called internal yardstick and see where you where you have started and how far you have come. This is the only measure that makes sense. This is what this website is all about: Become your greatest version!

Stop comparing yourself to others

Are we all crazy?

While writing this I feel that it is hard to believe that we are actually thinking like this and I wonder if I am exaggerating. But to be honest, I find all of these thoughts to some extent within myself as well. The question is if we are ready to admit it or not. After all these are thoughts created by our mind and not by who we actually are. These are just belief patterns, habits, and subconscious routines that start running whenever there is a trigger.

Even though all of this sounds so crazy, it is the reality many of us still live in right now unless we start to find peace in our minds.

But there is one aspect or core desire that I haven’t mentioned yet, that is actually the most important one.

It is the feeling we crave for with all our being and that is the underlying motivation behind all our actions.

It is the desire to be loved.

Lack of self-love

Our quest to find that love can be the cause for the most cruel and violent actions that you can imagine. And the less you feel loved the more devastating these actions towards yourself and others can become. I believe that many people do what they do in order to find that love. They think they can find it in having a certain amount of money, respect, or publicity.

Others get into the role of being a victim, being ill, or drawing attention to them by gossiping about others. This makes you feel important and drawing the attention towards yourself. Others may want to begin a lawsuit, “fight against the system”, or pursue their career by all means; not because they love what they do, but to get the reputation and satisfaction they think they need in order to be happy.

Remember, most of the time this is simply a cry for love.


Get aware of yourself

I am not here to judge anyone, and many of these motivations I feel and felt throughout my life inside of me as well, some more and some less. The first step to resolve these issues is to get aware of them. Then you have to accept it. In doing so, you transform yourself and continue on your path of self-development and becoming your greatest version.

Whatever you have done in the past, or what has be done to you, let go of it and move on, it is no longer serving you right now. You can decide to carry it with you for the rest of your life, or you can decide to let go of the past today, and to move your life in the direction that you truly desire.

The most important step to get there is to love and accept yourself 100%.

You cannot find outside what you don’t have already inside of you

This is equal to the law of correspondence, which is one of the 7 Hermetic Principles.

  • You want to find love? Love yourself first!
  • You want to find a partner that truly loves you like your soulmate? You have to love yourself first. When you are a woman then you have to embrace the male aspect within you. When you are a man you have to embrace the female aspect within you. Only when you get whole inside of you, will you find the wholeness in your life. You don’t need to look for your perfect partner, just become whole inside and the one you were looking for will find you. In this regard I recommend you to read this article and see what the great Bulgarian mystic Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov has to say about it.
  • Do you wonder why you are poor? It is because you are unable to give more than you receive. What can you give when you don’t have anything? You can give a smile, speak a gentle word, give someone a hand when they need it, appreciate someone’s effort and see them instead of ignoring them, you have ears to listen to their story, you have arms to give them a hug. You need to see the value you create for others when you spend your money. See the good things you create for the people and their families that created that product or service. Give others the abundance from your heart, and you will receive abundance. This is the same principle. You have to be in abundance, to receive abundance.
  • You feel lonely and scare the silence? Embrace the loneliness and the silence within you. See that everything is connected or to say it with Nicola Tesla: To understand the universe you have to think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. Everything is connected. Go within you and feel the connection to everyone and everything. The universe is alive, all of it! Our sun, the earth, the planets, the stars, stones, minerals, everything is alive and we are all connected. We are all connected and still individual. See yourself as an eddy in an infinite ocean. You are connected but still individual because no one has your spin and drive 🙂 Go into nature, take of the shoes and reconnect to nature. Just become a human BEing and not a human DOing. Find the connection within you and you will find it around you. And then you are never going to feel lonely again.

Give yourself all the love that you need in order to be happy. Allow yourself to feel the love of the sun, the earth, and the universe that all love you to an extent that goes beyond your wildest imagination.

I like to say that the sun shines for all of us, every day, no matter what we did or didn’t do. The sun does not judge. Just imagine the sun having an ego and being unwilling to shine for us, we would sit in the dark for all the time.

Further, we have to feel and realize that we are loved beyond our imagination. Everything is connected. But many of us don’t think that, or forget it from time to time, or think that they don’t deserve it for whatever reason.

So what happens is this:

Finding a replacement for what is missing inside

We try to find a replacement for the love that we think we don’t get or deserve.

What could this replacement look like?

This is when society’s expectations come in like some of the status symbols I described above.

This could be a career, to get married and have children, to work hard and be a real man, hang out with your friends and don’t do something that would exclude you from your group. You name it. There are countless expectations in our professional and personal environment we think we have to meet somehow.

By the way, it is absolutely fine to get married and have children as long as you want it. What I mean is that young people do it or are forced to do it, because of their parents and families. Otherwise they would lose respect and their value, after they reach a certain age without being bound.

Why Having A Good Life Makes You Unhappy

Basically, we end up fulfilling everybody’s expectations except our own. We end up stressed, burned out, unhappy, desperate, and questioning the sense of all, and what all of this is good for.

Here is the core of the problem:

1. We can never fulfill everybody’s expectations, this is simply impossible.
2. Our aim to do be liked by everyone sets our goals to a level that “normal people” aim for, and which is appropriate in the eyes of our parents, colleagues and friends
3. Our greatest enemy is us, because we have to suppress our innermost desires and bury them deep down within ourselves. We keep telling ourselves that we are doing well and as we are supposed to do. However, unless we never accept and release the giant within us, we are never going to have a truly fulfilled life.
4. We find excuses and blame others for not being able to do what we love. This could be our kids, our family, our boss, or anyone else. But this is not true, because we simply need to stop to live upon other people’s expectations. The only one to blame here is us, and nobody else. But even blaming yourself will lead you nowhere. The only thing you can to is to MOVE and to get into RADICAL ACTION. If you don’t start following your dreams then nobody is going to do this for you.
5. Based on what we see, we think that other people are more successful and happy. First of all, you don’t know the entire story, and whatever you believe to see or know is always only part of the story, be it good or bad. You never know what someone is going through at the moment, and you should accept their unique path. How someone presents, pretends, lies, greets, smiles at you is their karma, their problem, and their personal cause they set into the world. How you react, perceive, and act upon it, is your karma and your problem. You should never ever judge other people or compare yourself to them. You never know the full picture and thus, can make only conclusions that are based on false assumptions. Don’t waste your energy on this. Just work on your own goals instead.


We are lying to us

So despite our innermost and now suppressed desires, we tell ourselves that we live a good life. We tell ourselves that it is simply not possible to go for our dream, that it is ridiculous to even think that we could be successful. We might think that we are too old, too inexperienced or that our idea is not going to work out.  There might be all sorts of other excuses our mind comes up with to lure us into a sense of ease and relaxation within our good old comfort zone, right?

But instead of finding hundreds of excuses you need to find only one “why” that is the reason for you to get started. The “how” and the “what” do not matter if you only have a “why”. And that is your passion!

But following your passion would mean to leave your comfort zone, and that is what keeps you back.

Aiming low and hitting the target

This is exactly when you aim low and hit your target. A target that you never intended to hit but ended up reaching or doing anyway. You have given up on your dreams for various reasons, but first and foremost because you scare to disappoint yourself in pursuing them. You scare that your parents or friends might be right, and that it is too hard, or simply too risky. You fear to lose what you have.

But here comes a little secret:

When you fear to lose what you have you can never be free.

Those people that don’t have to lose anything are the ones that are truly free.

This is why people that are going through a big trauma, drama or life changing event where they lose everything, can achieve the most remarkable things. They say that they simply have nothing to lose whether they go for it or not. And this is when you succeed. No one has to go through a big loss to become successful, but for most of us it is the only wake up call that we are able to hear, and probably the last one after all those that we have ignored before. The harder something gets, the better the outcome:

“If you are willing to do only what’s easy, life will be hard. But if you are willing to do what’s hard, life will be easy.” – T. Harv Eker

But this is not you. When you see someone else pursuing their dream and being successful you wish deep down that he or she won’t succeed, and you even feel a little bit of comfort when they struggle and face obstacles. This is what I did and I am not proud of it.

But somehow they keep going and succeed. And when they do, you say that they have been lucky, or that it is not fair, or that you simply didn’t have the same possibilities, or whatever other “reasons” your mind comes up with to take care of you in your everlasting comfort zone.

Here is what to do:

Instead of wasting your time and energy on other people’s opinions, and gossiping behind their backs, you have to do something that is serving you:

Aim higher, quit talking, and get into radical action.

aiming higher

How to do what you are passionate about and make a living from it

Now here we are, and I am glad that you could make it until here. This post turned out to be so much longer than I intended but I feel that it is necessary to walk you through the entire process before getting here.

If you are still wondering how to do what you love and make money with it then here comes the answer:

You need to share what you are passionate about with others. You have to show them how you do it and teach them how they can do the same.

Let me explain:

You can be the greatest engineer, scientist, programmer, artist, musician, coach, mother, teacher, employee, writer, financial expert, or whatever expert you can think of.

You can either do it for yourself and the company you work for, or you can share how you do it, what helps you, how you started, what was particularly hard, the greatest beginner mistakes you would avoid given a second chance, and so on.

Whatever it is you are good at, there are people out there that go through the same problems and troubles that you have faced. And they would be happy to find someone giving them real advice and guidance. More so, they might especially willing to pay for that because it would safe them so much trouble, time, and stretched nerves.

If you think that you cannot do anything good then look what experiences you made over the last years. After all you are the expert of your own life. Have you overcome an addiction or survived for months or years without a job and know how to safe money? Maybe you know how to help people solving conflicts in their company or family?

Ask the people around what you are good at and write it down.

Then think of how you can use your experience to help others and create value for them. Your first and most important intention has to be to help people with what you are passionate about.

Once you start doing that, everything else is going to fall into place and you will see the path you have to walk. When you help and educate people, they are going to trust you. Give them for free as much as you can and be genuine and serious about your help. Don’t expect anything in return and be willing to give more than you have. Once you offered free courses, e-books, posts, and videos you will find ways to monetize your efforts. They will be willing to pay for your services and products because they see the VALUE that you provide and will be happy to pay for it and be thankful even more.

Here are three ways to help people and make a living with it:

Create a website:

Any online business starts with a website. Your main focus might be to make videos, email marketing, or creating tutorials, but your website will be your main virtual address. You can also have just a landing page to get subscribers or to promote your product, but some sort of website presence is very important. If you want to learn more about where I learnt to make this website, then you can find out more here or get your free domain right away.

Create digital products and build and e-mail list: 

At some point you might want to create your own videos, e-courses and so on. The best way to do so is to use automated e-mail services, where you can create step by step guides for your subscribers. You can write them educational e-mails or send them a link to your tutorials and videos. The big advantage is that you can customize your e-mails to your subscribers. Further, you need to create that course only once and set up the automated sequence. After that you can add more information over time but most of the processes are automated. The best tool I have come across is ConvertKit. At this moment I am setting up my own course where I will walk you through the process and I am going to write a detailed review about it afterwards which I am going to share with you of course.

Start your own YouTube channel:

Make helpful videos, upload them on YouTube, gain followers and subscribers, and use one of the many ways to make money from YouTube. You may have noticed that there are channels and videos about anything you can think of. Don’t get discouraged by that. Learn from the best YouTubers in your niche and try to make it better. Upload regularly and create some real value. Follow the free tutorials at the YouTube Creator Academy to get started with your channel or use this professional YouTube training to get you to the next level.

Live your passion and start changing your life today

You can also do all three but I recommend to start with one and move on from there. I have this website in place now, and only now I start working on an e-course, and on videos that I want to upload in the future.

This is basically how you can live from your passion. Do what you love and share it with others by creating real value for them. With this in mind and your consistent effort and commitment it is only a matter of time until you can live from doing what you love.

You don’t believe me? Check out these three videos here from people starting their own channel and see how far they got.

I am going to describe in more detail how you can start your website, make your own products, or your YouTube channel very soon. So make sure to stay around

If you liked this post and think that it could be helpful for someone else as well then share it with them.

Start your holistic life transformation. Change your life today and become your greatest version!

Who Said Itmichelangelo

Michelangelo (1475 – 1564) was an Italian sculptor, painter, architect, and poet of the High Renaissance who exerted an unparalleled influence on the development of Western art. Considered to be the greatest living artist during his lifetime, he has since also been described as one of the greatest artists of all time.


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