Quote Of The Week 7 – 2017
What To Do When You Are Bored? – Learn How To Never Feel Bored Again
“Boredom: The desire of desire” – Leo Tolstoy
Every one of us has felt bored at some time in our lives. When you feel bored you lack in any desire to do anything.
However, it is not a very nice feeling to be bored and most people try to take steps to get rid of that feeling, which therefore is the predominant desire you have when feeling bored.
But unless we see boredom as just another opportunity to become our greatest version, like all the other obstacles that we face every day, we will most likely try to overcome that boredom with further distractions that keep us away from what we really want.
In this post, I try to understand what really happens when you feel bored and what would be the right thing to do or not to do in that situation.
What is boredom?
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines boredom as being a
“state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.”
So I think that restlessness and lack of interest are very important when we want to find out more about the reasons for our boredom.
In German we say “Langeweile” that consists of “lange”, which means long, and “weile”, which means while. So literally it means “a long while”.
When you feel bored time runs very slowly so that you actually have to deal with time itself. Many of us have difficulties to use this sudden “vast amount of time” properly.
We tend to be always “busy” which has turned into something like a status symbol.
When you are busy you are important and in demand, when you feel bored you have not enough to do and are not doing something important.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. Who says that doing nothing means actually not doing something of value? Your mere presence affects the environment around you and is “doing something” for you.
This misconception of “needing to be busy” will make people looking for “fillers” whether useful or not. As a result many people will give you things to do to fill up the time, which is often outright meaningless.
For me, I rather do nothing and feel bored than doing stuff just for the sake of doing something. Why is it so bad to just be once in a while? After all we are human BEings and not human DOings, aren’t we?
If you are interested more in what boredom is you can have a look at these five types of boredom that have been identified as: indifferent, calibrating, searching, reacting, and apathetic.
All of these kinds are dealing with more or less the same symptoms in various degrees. Therefore, it is important to find out what the actual underlying causes are.
Let’s try to get the most out of each time we feel bored by understanding what causes such feelings and what it can tell us about us.
Why do you feel bored?
The main aspect that it boils down to is that you are simply not interested in what is happening at the moment.
You may feel that everything you do is somehow pointless or unnecessary because you have lost the connection to your inner self. The situation you are in feels not in alignment with who you are.
But at the same time you don’t know how to be in alignment with yourself and having that awareness.
Wanting to get back into your comfort zone
The reason for this is your identification with your thoughts. When you feel bored you unconsciously detach from your endless stream of thoughts and your illusionary self-image. Your mind cannot really deal with your state of boredom and tries to get out of it as quick as possible because you are outside of your comfort zone.
The unfamiliar interruption of the constant distraction keeps you with your thoughts and just yourself.
This is actually a good time for self-reflection but it can be painful to analyze your own life. It is much easier to avoid this and trying to get as fast as possible back into your comfort zone.
You are basically blocking the unknown which is nothing else than what lies outside of your personal bubble that consists of your personal story, self-image, and problems. When you feel bored you basically start to reflect what your personal bubble is about and you may not like what you see.
You are identifying yourself with your own problems and giving up this identification feels like giving up on you. This way you have kind of become addicted to your own problems and your self-created image of yourself.
This will keep the voice in your head alive and therefore the ability to sustain your self-created illusion.
Alternative way to look at boredom
Another way to look at it is seeing boredom as the underlying fear of your inner greatness. You scare to let go of what has served you up to now but lost its appeal. You prefer stagnation over growth, but this makes you uneasy because it is against the natural way of things.
Therefore, you could see boredom also as a sign of awakening and that you have grown out of your old shell. The key to move on is to lose your mind and come to your senses.
What does this mean?
It means that you should let go of thinking and start listening to your intuition. People avoid this step by “reaching out” and seeking distraction in all kinds of things like quizzes, video/online games, shopping, gossiping or simply annoying other people (especially among siblings 🙂 ).
Instead of always looking around us we should “reach in” and discover the huge realm that awaits us there.
Lack of self-love
Why is boredom related to a lack of self-love?
Let me explain:
People who tend to get bored easily aren’t living to their full potential yet. They most likely lack in purpose and passion, which is basically fine.
The problem starts when people stand in the way of their own growth. Their underlying fear of change and “not fitting in” any more, of losing something, boils down to not loving yourself enough to grant yourself this next step. You don’t feel that you deserve to move on.
This might seem a bit off topic here but it is actually not. You see, this happens on a subconscious level without us being fully aware of it. We run on autopilot for most of the time being hypnotized by our own life.
You really have to go a level deeper to see what I am talking about. A state of boredom is like a higher calling trying to wake you up from “sleepwalking” your life. When you act against this calling then you can only do so due to a lack of self-love.
What to do when you are bored? Distraction vs. Focus
You have two options to deal with boredom. One way is to focus on the underlying causes of your boredom and figuring out why you are bored and what you can do about it.
The other way would be to seek any sort of distraction that keeps you out of charge over your own life. You might continue to have a good life but still feel unhappy about it.
There are many people out there that recommend you to do just that with long lists of ideas. However, these distractions are just a weak replacement for your inner calling and actually a rather desperate approach to find peace in your life.
As a result your inner emptiness causes an outer emptiness which is full of meaningless nonsense (Sorry for being a bit rude here, but I actually talk about my own experience as well. So, no offense and welcome on board 🙂 ). This is in alignment with the Hermetic Principle of correspondence: As within, so without.
Not seeing this relationship will make you continue to feel bored. Your disconnection from yourself, disconnects you from the world around you, and thus, making your life boring.
Having an inner vision on the other hand make you seek for a similar expression or reflection around you. Seeing your vision coming alive, one way or another, is simply exciting and will never make you feel bored.
There are certainly pitfalls on the way and sometimes tedious chores to do that would normally be boring. The difference here is that you see the reason for your actions as part of a bigger picture: Your Vision! And this makes it perfectly endurable for you.
But is working on a goal not just another distraction?
No, because your goals are coming from inside of you and not from someone else. Once you have gone through the steps of proper goal setting, you are going to align all your actions to your primary goal. This makes all of your actions part of a bigger plan, they have a purpose.
You could also plan to have some distractions on the way, when you feel that you need to relax. This is totally fine because it is not happening out of boredom.
It is a huge difference whether you play let’s say a video game because you take a scheduled break from your work (which is like a reward and absolutely awesome), or because you don’t know what else to do because you have no vision for your life.
There is a qualitative difference that is quite significant if you think about it!
Learn How To Never Feel Bored Again
When you are not serious about certain things then you simply stop pursuing them, which is totally fine. But it does also tell you that it is either not for you or that you give up too easily because you don’t really have a main goal.
One out of ten people has set goals and actually pursues them. If you have no personal goals to work for, you automatically end up working for other people’s goals and make their dreams come true.
What is for sure is that when you do what you are passionate about you will never feel bored. There might be stuff that you don’t like to do at all but as long as you need to do it for your goal you are most likely not going to feel bored about it.
Interest (vs. feeling bored)
Interest comes first. If you are intrinsically enjoying what you are doing then you won’t bother doing stuff you don’t like. What matters for you is the endeavor as a whole. It is the big picture that makes you almost forget about those annoying chores that come along with it.
Question for you: Could you ever be seriously bored when you do stuff that interests you?
Probably not, so why are you not doing more of it? No time? Schedule it and make it real.
Practice (vs. lack of motivation)
The next in the line is practice or any form of perseverance like daily action. With daily practice comes improvement and motivation to do more and to become better. Whatever it takes you are going for the full-hearted, comfort-zone-stretching, and skill-exceeding practice.
Talent, skills, or interests can’t flourish if you don’t nourish them, right? You actually give away your power and potential.
Focusing on your mistakes and becoming your greatest version is definitely going to be exciting and far from being bored or lacking in motivation. You literally build your motivation one step at a time, day after day.
Once you make it a habit, you can’t help yourself but keep doing it. This is simply awesome.
Question for you: Could you ever wonder if the effort is worth it if you do something you love and realize that you are getting actually very good at it, since you have put in so much effort already?
Therefore, sit down, take your calendar and create some time for you to do it from now on and get a perfect start for your personal new year.
Purpose (vs. indifference )
Now that you have got started you need a purpose that keeps you going. The best purpose to have is that your work actually matters. What you do is actually making a difference for you AND for others. This is so important that I want you to read this sentence again.
Creating value and knowing that you do so can be very fulfilling. This way, your purpose is actually detached from any particular goal. You are lifting your personal interest and daily practice to the next level. You are not doing it for you but for others as well.
With this comes the awareness that it is actually “your duty” to share your best version of yourself and your highest skills and your full potential with other people to make them profit from who you are. This is everybody’s life purpose.
Many people don’t do that and once they lose interest they easily give up because they don’t see the point anymore.
Question for you: Could it be feeling pointless or not important to you if you can see the bigger picture of your activities for you and for others?
Hope (vs. giving up)
With all of the above ingredients it still can get a little rough sometimes. There are going to be obstacles and problems that will hold you back. With hope you can overcome those times and prove yourself worthy and ready. When you get knocked down then you have to get up again over and say: “It is not over UNTIL I WIN.”
Your hope is the primary vision that is illuminating your path towards glory, freedom, and peace.
Now that was some pathos, wasn’t it?
No matter how tough it gets and how unlikely it is we are going to succeed, we never ever get tasks thrown at us that we couldn’t handle. And when we keep going, we WILL get the reward. This is not just wishful thinking but how the universe works. Always. For Everyone.
Most important: Stop being too reasonable. Successful people often just do things and later figure out how to get out of it. Once they do, they will have come further than people who “reasonably” decide to wait for a better chance…
…and they still keep waiting…
…and feel bored while doing so …
…and wonder how they can get distracted by something or by THE ONE THING…
The choice is yours. Each time you feel bored.
Question for you: How are you going to decide?
Please leave a comment to answer if you like 🙂
No matter how you are going to decide. Choose wisely and move ahead with confidence!
Have a wonderful week my friend!