How Our Childhood Determines Who We Become

Quote Of The Week – 51 – 2016

How Our Childhood Determines Who We Become

“When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.”
― Patrick Rothfuss

In the previous posts we have covered what is missing in most people’s lives and why most people fail to actually achieve greatness in their lives.

In this post I want to cover how our conditioning as a child influences the way we act and think our entire life. Managing to understand what makes us behaving the way we do, often in a very subtle way, is very important in order to realize that we are actually limiting ourselves. If you can change your way of thinking then you can transform all of your limiting beliefs and become who you truly are.

You have created an identity of yourself that is based on your life experience and of what you think you are or have to be.  In the end your entire life story just exists in your mind as an image of the past or a possible projection of the future. Getting aware of this imposed identity is the first step to unleash your inner greatness. It is our false identity that makes us feeling uneasy about our life. So the second step would be to let go of who we think we are (what we have been told) and become who we really are (what we have brought to the world).


We have to step into our true authenticity and accept that we are the infinite presence behind our thoughts. Letting go of everything that is no longer serving us and being in alignment with what we came here for will reconnect us to ourselves.

What happens though is that people identify themselves with their thoughts and their life story and create an identity around it.

So the question I was asking myself is why do we think and act the way we do? Where does our attitude towards life come from? Why do we actually fail to live a simple life in full bliss fully at peace of who we are?

Why do we strive for always more and prepare for what is yet to come instead of enjoying what already is? Why have we forgotten to live in the moment like the children?

A major problem is the identification with our thoughts and listening to our constantly judging mind. It is like we are hypnotized by our inner voice. Therefore, I think it is very important to understand the way we think.

Understanding our way of thinking

Once we know where our way of thinking comes from then we start being able to change it profoundly and in a way that makes us happier.

I have written a couple of posts about how our thoughts influence us and that we should not falsely see them as being us. A good place to start is to read the book “The Power Of Now” by Eckhart Tolle (read my review here).

There is another aspect that I haven’t mentioned before which is very interesting in my opinion. It is about what the old Egyptians interpreted our thoughts to be: One of the six senses!

When you look at the Eye of Horus you will see that it basically consists of six parts that represent our six senses: Touch, Taste, Hearing, Thought, Sight, and Smell.


For me it is fascinating to think of our thoughts as a sensory perception. Then you can see the voice in your head as an endless stream of thoughts that you either tune into or not. Simply take a step back and look at your thoughts and decide how much they are serving you at the moment and if they make you feel better or not.

Mind programming as a child

When we think about it we have to come to the conclusion that the bulk of our belief systems originate from our childhood. There are more factors such as the society we grew up in, the traditions and religion we have, the social status and so on. But it actually goes all back to our childhood and the early relationship to our parents. That is where all the traumas, fears, hidden desires, but also expectations are formed and we might not even be aware of what is still remaining in us from that time.

Once our beliefs and habits are formed they are saved in our subconscious mind and start running whenever triggered. This fact itself is not a problem, but it becomes one if we falsely start to identify ourselves with some “subroutines” that have been downloaded into the subconscious mind, our memory system, long time ago.

So if we take all our memories and thoughts away what is it that remains? Are we just the program that was imposed on us while we were still a child?

We are not just an empty vessel when we are born, just old souls in a young body. 

What we have to understand is that we all have a soul plan or a major task to accomplish. Whatever you have experienced in this life or in other lives before was a preparation for what is happening right now. Your task is most likely related to something that you are most passionate about and simply enjoy doing or being.

Finding out what that is and actually teaching you to do it should be the major objective for our education. Instead, we are are squeezed into a false identity that we even start to believe and feel pressured to fulfill.

Not fitting in makes us wonder what is wrong with us so we end up trying even harder in jobs we don’t like. This unsatisfying practice may cause depressions, diseases and other forms of negative effects and life events because we literally work against ourselves. Letting go of that resistance is not giving up it is rather allowing yourself to be in alignment with who you are! It is actually as simple as that. Our resistance to accept what is creates even more resistance. This can be also explained with the 7 Hermetic Principles, which I tried in earlier posts here and here.

The early years

Most of the things we do, like, or even despise on a daily basis originate from what we have been conditioned to think and belief as a child of up to seven years. We simply see the world with big eyes and are unbiased about it. We literally download all the information that is given to us unfiltered by our parents, siblings, or grandparents.

Children learn their self-worth from the reaction from their parents and caretakers. Even slight reactions from the parents can have an effect on your self-worth.

They might be very subtle and you forget about them but they still can have quite a strong effect on your life as an adult. All it takes is one rough word or sentence from let’s say you mother that makes you act or feel in a certain way for the rest of your life without you even knowing it!

Our Education

I wrote a quite thorough post about why living a good life makes you still unhappy, where I also talk about our education system and how it is killing our creativity. We are literally normalized to fit into society instead of standing out with our individual skills and talents achieving what we really want.

Basically, we end up trying to fulfill everyone’s expectations by always preparing for what is yet to come. And once it is there we cannot really enjoy it because there is already a next level to prepare for and so on, right?

Thinking back to days at school I remember always being prepared for the German “Abitur” certificate which allows you to enroll at university. At the end no one actually cares about it, at least not me to be honest, nor do I much about the university degree in engineering that I got. At the end it is just a piece of paper and I am still not sure if it was worth the enormous efforts I put in to achieve it. After all it made me certain that I can achieve anything I want if I only put my mind to it.

We are so much more than what we have achieved at school, college, or university. Even if you haven’t finished school at all then don’t think you are less worthy! This is pure nonsense.

I sometimes even doubt the concept of intelligence and that we depend on it so much. All it needs is a vision and our commitment to work on our goals. It is definitely not our intelligence. You don’t need any degree to follow your dreams or to be who you are!

The problem with the school system is that it reduces our creativity and implants the wrong beliefs about ourselves, what we are capable of achieving and what we supposedly need to be considered successful.

Media and schools are telling us that we have to get famous or popular one day. This leads to unfulfilled expectations for most of us once we are reaching our twenties and start working. For many of us this is the time they realize that it is not like we were told all the time.

Commencing to work after school

Whatever degree you have or not, there is one day when you finally have to start working. I started early on with all kinds of jobs since I was twelve years old. I imagined being kind of free once I finish school (later also university) but it always turned out not being the way I imagined.

During my first job I kind of felt trapped as well. I just did it because I felt that I had to and because it is what was expected from me, or at least I thought it was.

I feel like I have been prepared to do things I don’t want to do and to become someone I don’t really want to be.

This story is as old as humanity itself. Your parents, family, and society have certain expectations from your life and you might even feel that you own them something. So your role would be to do something which is appropriate in your family’s point of view.

At the end we live a life of mediocrity because we listen to the wrong people. As a result we feel depressed, anxious, and helpless. The main reason for this is because we are disconnected from ourselves and therefore from the world around us. We continuously judge us and others whereas pure peace and love can only exist at the absence of judgment.

So how does our childhood determine who we become?

We are whole as a child and become fragmented during the process of getting older. In order to reconnect we need to remove all self-constructed barriers of false identification and self-limiting beliefs.

Getting aware of it is the first step. After that you need to take measures to transform yourself and your thinking.

Also watch the video below and make sure to stay around for new upcoming content.

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